The 6 signs you’re lonely in retirement and how to overcome it

Retirement is often painted as a golden period in life. No more early mornings, deadlines, or office politics, just endless free time to spend doing whatever you please. For many, it’s a dream come true. But for others, this transition can bring unexpected challenges, particularly when it comes to social connections.

While you might be looking forward to more relaxation and fewer responsibilities, you could also find yourself feeling isolated. Being lonely in retirement is a common but often overlooked issue that can seriously affect your wellbeing.

Meet Maisie and Pat, two wonderful residents from Solihull Retirement Village. They told us all about their newfound friendship, and how village life prevents loneliness.

Now, here’s how to recognise the signs of loneliness and, more importantly, how to overcome them:

1. You feel unmotivated or lack energy

If you find yourself waking up each day with a sense of dread or lethargy, this could be a sign of loneliness. Without social interaction, it’s easy to lose the motivation to stay active, which can create a cycle of low energy and low mood.

2. You’re losing interest in hobbies

Remember when you couldn’t wait to have all this free time to pursue your hobbies? If those activities no longer bring you joy, it could be because you’re missing the social aspects that often come with them, like chatting with friends or attending group classes.

3. You’re isolating yourself

Avoiding social events, even ones you used to enjoy, is a clear sign of loneliness. You might tell yourself it’s just because you prefer staying in, but if you’re continually opting out of opportunities to connect with others, loneliness could be the reason.

4. You’re always busy but still feel empty

Sometimes, people fill their days with activities to avoid confronting their feelings of loneliness. If your calendar is packed but you still feel a sense of emptiness, it’s worth considering whether you’re trying to distract yourself from loneliness.

5. You find it hard to sleep

Loneliness doesn’t just affect your mood, it can also impact your sleep. If you’re tossing and turning at night, feeling anxious or restless, it could be because your mind is struggling with a lack of social connection.

6. You’re experiencing physical ailments

Loneliness can manifest physically. You might experience more frequent headaches, high blood pressure, or even a weakened immune system. Our bodies often reflect what’s going on in our minds, so it’s important not to ignore these signs.

The impact of loneliness on health

It’s crucial to recognise that loneliness isn’t just an emotional issue, it has real consequences for your physical health too. Research shows that chronic loneliness can lead to a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, cognitive decline, and even a shorter lifespan. The impact is so significant that some studies suggest loneliness can be as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, which isn’t something to be taken lightly.

How to overcome being lonely in retirement

The good news is that loneliness is a solvable problem. It might require some effort and a change in routine, but by taking the following steps, you can start building connections and reclaiming your sense of wellbeing.

1. Reconnect with old friends

Retirement is the perfect time to reach out to those you’ve lost touch with over the years. Whether it’s a quick phone call, a letter, or meeting up for coffee, rekindling old friendships can be incredibly rewarding. Plus, these are people who already know you, so there’s no need for awkward small talk, just pick up where you left off.

2. Get involved in your community

Many retirement communities offer clubs, classes, and social events that make it easy to meet like-minded people. Whether it’s a book club, gardening group, or art class, joining in on community activities provides a great way to meet new friends and keep your mind active.

ExtraCare’s retirement communities welcome everyone. We understand the importance of social connections, meaning you don’t need to be a resident to get involved with activities or to use our facilities.

3. Volunteer your time

Volunteering is a fantastic way to stay connected and feel useful. Whether it’s helping out at a local charity shop, mentoring young people, or assisting at an animal shelter, giving back can bring a sense of purpose and connection to your life.

Our volunteers are at the heart of ExtraCare, and we simply could not provide the services we do without the help of all these amazing people. Not only does it benefit our charity, but it massively benefits the volunteers themselves. We even have a few who have been giving up their time to ExtraCare for over 20 years!

4. Stay physically active

Exercise doesn’t just keep your body fit, it’s also a great way to meet new people. Join a walking group, take a yoga class, or start going to the local swimming pool regularly. The endorphins released during physical activity are a natural mood booster, and the social aspect can help alleviate loneliness.

Most of our locations have gyms with in-house fitness instructors. Some of our residents had never set foot in a gym before in their life, and now go every single morning without fail. It’s never too late to start!

5. Learn something new

Retirement is the ideal time to pick up a new skill or hobby. Whether it’s learning a language, taking up painting, or even mastering a musical instrument, engaging in a new activity keeps your mind sharp and opens up opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

6. Consider adopting a pet

Pets offer companionship and unconditional love, which can be incredibly comforting if you’re feeling lonely. A dog can encourage you to get outside for daily walks, while a cat might provide that cozy companionship you’re missing.

Many of our residents have furry (and feathery!) companions living with them.

7. Stay connected with technology

If distance is a barrier to seeing loved ones in person, make use of technology. Video calls, social media, and messaging apps are excellent ways to stay in touch with family and friends, even if they’re far away. You can also join online communities or forums related to your interests.

New Oscott Village resident Jean talked to us about the impact of technology and the ability to video call her family:

“Technology certainly does help the loneliness. It doesn’t cure the loneliness, but it helps. It’s better to see the faces of your loved ones, even if you can’t hug them. It will help your loneliness.”

8. Talk about it

If you’re struggling with loneliness, don’t be afraid to talk about it. Share your feelings with a close friend, family member, neighbour, or even a healthcare professional. Sometimes, just acknowledging that you’re lonely can be the first step towards overcoming it.

9. Create a routine

Having a daily or weekly routine can give your days structure and purpose, which is especially important in retirement. Plan activities that you enjoy and look forward to, whether it’s a weekly coffee with friends, regular exercise, or a hobby you love.

The importance of connection

Loneliness is a serious issue that can sneak up on you in retirement, but it’s important to remember that it’s never too late to make new connections and enrich your life.

Social interaction is a fundamental human need, and addressing loneliness is crucial for both your mental and physical health.

By taking proactive steps to stay connected, you can transform your retirement from a time of isolation into a time of joy, friendship, and fulfilment. After all, retirement should be about enjoying life to the fullest, and that’s a lot easier to do when you’re not doing it alone.

No thanks, I dont need any help

ExtraCare are here to help.