International Mens Day: Retirement Village Men’s Club proves Lifeline for Retirees

A retirement village has created a new lifeline for men dealing with isolation and has boosted mental health  in the form of a men’s only ‘Lads Group’.

The group, the brainchild of Jacqueline Smith, Dementia and Mental Wellbeing Enabler for The ExtraCare Charitable Trust, was inspired by resident Malcolm, whose recent diagnosis of dementia had left him withdrawn. His wife had expressed concern that existing support groups were too large and intimidating for him. So Jacqui decided to create something different—an intimate, men-only group where members could feel at ease.

“The first group Malcolm came to, I got each person to introduce themselves and tell us what they did for a living and what interests they have,” Jacqui shared. “I sat back and let them talk. I was surprised at how well they all got on, and by how many shared interests they had.” Remarkably, two members had both been train drivers, sparking a shared connection. After the session, Malcolm’s wife, Penny, was deeply moved. “She said it’s the most her husband has spoken in years,” Jacqui explained. “He couldn’t remember names, but he described everyone and the group and was full of joy.”

The Lads Club meets every Thursday from 10:30 am to 12:30 pm at ExtraCare’s Lark Hill Retirement Village and attracts a small group of six to eight men. The focus is on creating a welcoming environment for conversation, with familiar games like drafts and dominoes on offer. Volunteer Phil, who helps Jacqui run the group, exemplifies the power of the right support to transform lives. Phil, who arrived at Lark Hill facing multiple struggles with his own mental health—has completely turned his life around, he now attends the gym, and assists with the group. The club has given him purpose, and the gratitude he feels is mutual.

“I was approached by Jacqui on helping with the group, and the group is very good to talk to,” Phil said. “I’ve been at Lark Hill 18 months; we enjoy playing games together.”

Malcolm isn’t alone in finding comfort and camaraderie with the group. Fellow member, Brian, has also found a sense of belonging. “It felt natural to join this group,” he said. “We talk about our experiences over the years. Lots of older people are nervous and don’t speak to one another. I joined and try to encourage other men to join, talk, and learn about one another.”

With former train drivers among its ranks, the club even brought in a train simulator to one session, much to the members’ delight. As a haven for men to bond, share, and rekindle their sense of self, the Lads Club at the Nottingham retirement village has become a critical support system for these men and their families. Providing a reminder of who they are, who they were and the lives they’ve led.